


Under My Skin

by FREE_FREEMAN



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Background Coomer/Bubby, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not A Game AU, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25191724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FREE_FREEMAN/pseuds/FREE_FREEMAN
Summary: When Gordon Freeman woke up early that morning, he expected it to just be another day sitting in his apartment trying to find things to keep himself occupied. What he did not expect was a knock at his door and Benrey, looking ragged as all hell, to be standing there when he opened it.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 52
Kudos: 376





	1. i wish you were dead, babe, i wish you were dead

**Author's Note:**

> hey there! thanks for checking out my fic! i'm gonna be completely upfront here, i'm not sure if i'll finish it (i have a habit of losing interest in writing fics after the 7th chapter) but i will try my best!!!  
> this fic takes place about a month after the party at chuck e cheese and the title is based on the song (with the same name) by Jukebox the Ghost

When Gordon Freeman woke up early that morning, he expected it to just be another day sitting in his apartment trying to find things to keep himself occupied. What he did _not_ expect was a knock at his door and Benrey, looking ragged as all hell, to be standing there when he opened it. He was half tempted to just shut the door in the guard’s ⏤ well, ex-guard now ⏤ face.

So that’s what he did. He had to give himself a minute to compose himself. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath before slowly opening the door again. Benrey was still there, staring up at him like a sad puppy. He looked like shit; his clothes were torn, his nose was bleeding, and he had a nasty-looking gash in his arm. He looked… tired. Which was odd, because Gordon didn’t think the alien _needed_ sleep. Sure, he would sleep when they stopped to rest in Black Mesa, but he was also always the first one up, or so he’d been told.

Gordon took another breath and asked, in the most calm voice he could muster, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“i uh… i dunno either, man,” Benrey mumbled, looking down at his boots. He looked like he genuinely didn’t know how he got there, but Gordon didn’t know if he believed it. For all he knew, the ex-“guard” could just be there putting on an act in an attempt to try and kill him again.

“How do I know that I can trust you?” The question came out cold, maybe more so than Gordon intended. Benrey didn’t say anything, shifting his gaze further downward until his eyes were no longer visible under his helmet.

Gordon combed his fingers through his hair again. “Fuck it. It’s too early for this.” He moved away from the door, leaving it open for Benrey. “Just… just leave me alone for a while. I don’t think I’ve fully comprehended exactly what the fuck is going on.” When he glanced back at the doorway, he saw that the alien hadn’t moved an inch. “Okay so you’re just gonna stand there?” He couldn’t help it when a small smile crept onto his face. “You waiting for me to invite you in like a vampire?”

But Benrey simply glanced around the inside of Gordon’s apartment, trying to avoid making eye contact. “i uh… i ‘unno if i can- if i can move without fuckin’… bleeding everywhere.” Since when did he care about that kind of thing?

Gordon pushed up his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, growing more agitated by the second. “It’s- it’s fine⏤ wait.” Something wasn’t right. “Can’t you like… heal yourself? I’ve shot you god knows how many times and you would barely bat an eye!”

But Benrey only shrugged. “got fuckin’ nerfed bro. was too op.” Gordon snorted. _Fine then, keep your secrets._

With the physicist’s “reassurance,” Benrey made his way over to the couch, basically throwing himself into the cushions. With that taken care of, Gordon started making himself some coffee. When the coffee machine started running, he turned back to the more important problem at hand. “Okay so,” he started, “you don’t know how you got here. Do you at least know where you came from? Like… _before_ you showed up here?”

Benrey seemed to think about that for a minute before answering: “yeah, uh. got stuck in best buy, dude.”

“I-” Gordon couldn’t see the former guard’s face, but he was 90% sure he was just fucking with him. “Okay, yeah, sure.” He dragged his hands down his face and said nothing more, listening to the grinding of the coffee machine.

A few minutes passed in relative silence before Gordon heard shuffling coming from the couch. He also heard a couple soft “ow”s and he padded over to check what Benrey was doing.

He was hunched over, slowly putting his hand over the candle that was burning on Gordon’s coffee table, before pulling it back when it was directly above the flame with another “ow” and repeating the process a few more times. His pupils were wide, almost as if he were fascinated with the fact that he could feel pain. Well… maybe that was exactly the case. Whatever the case, Gordon found himself trying to hide his amusement at the sight in front of him.

Eventually, he grabbed Benrey’s wrist and held it away from the lit candle. “Stop doing that, man,” he said with a slight smile, “you’re gonna actually burn yourself.” The alien looked up at him, pupils still dilated, with a twisted grin on his face. “wha- mister- fuckin’. feetman actually gives a- cares about poor little benny?”

At that, Gordon felt his face grow warm and he dropped Benrey’s hand. He started making his way to the bathroom after a muttered “whatever”. The former guard peeked over the couch, as if he were afraid of being left alone. “wait- where’re you- where’re you goin’?”

The physicist simply looked over his shoulder and replied, “I’m getting the first aid kit, because you’re not just gonna walk around my house injured.” He made it sound as if he didn’t want Benrey getting blood on his things, but he knew deep down that he would only feel bad if he didn’t help the alien take care of his wounds, especially since it seemed like he couldn’t just heal himself instantly anymore. He didn’t _want_ to feel bad ⏤ this is the same guy who got his hand cut off and tried to kill him and the science team ⏤ but he knew it was just inevitable.

While he was shuffling through the bathroom cabinet, he heard the familiar sound of the Black Mesa Sweet Voice coming from the living room. When he finally located the first aid kit, he cautiously exited the room so he could catch the sweet voice colors before they faded.

When he peeked into the room, he saw waves of red and green orbs floating in the air. Red to green… none of the rhymes he could think of really fit the situation. He pulled out his phone and snapped a quick pic of the light show to send to Tommy later… before remembering that he was probably the only one who even knew Benrey was alive at all. He’d have to text everyone and explain that later.

For now he had to focus on the task at hand. He continued on into the living room, making his presence known by calling out, “Benrey, you still there?” eliciting a jump from the one on the couch. He knew the answer was obvious, one look at the room could tell anyone with sight that the alien was still in there.

He said as such: “wha- you uh. you can’t see anymore feetman? you lost- you get fuckin’. blinded in the bathroom? see your own reflection? eyes get turned to stone?”

Gordon snorted, retorting, “Last time I checked, that’s not how that works.” He sat down on the couch next to Benrey, opening up the first aid kit. He’d only opened it a couple of times before to grab a bandaid or two when Joshua had fallen over and skinned his knee or something. The ex-guard seemed to notice his pause.

“you got any medical experience, mr. phd?” he said with a sharp-toothed grin.

How hard could patching a few wounds be?


	2. and i can feel you laughing under my skin, and the happy palpitations are making me grin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out patching up someone like Benrey was harder than Gordon thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel like i should address this even though no one said anything lmao:  
> are the chapter titles going to be in the same order as the lyrics of the song the fic is named after?  
> NOPE :) bc im lazy about that lmao

Turns out patching up someone like Benrey was harder than Gordon thought. The wound on his arm looked like it was a few days old, but with the amount of squirming he was doing, the physicist was afraid it was going to reopen. At least the alien’s sleeve was rolled up already so that wasn’t a problem. There were also smaller cuts and scratches which only required bandaids, so Gordon left Benrey on his own with those hoping he wouldn’t eat them or something.

With that taken care of, Gordon decided to tackle the bigger problem at hand: telling the science team that the “final boss” they thought they killed is in fact alive. He pulled out his phone, opened the science team group chat… and froze. How does one go about something like this? You can’t just casually send a message like “Hey guys, how’s it going? So yeah, Benrey’s alive, he showed up at my door like an hour ago and he was fucked up a little but yeah he’s chilling on my couch now.” He knew the first thing he had to do was make sure everyone was awake. It’d be a pretty big shock to get a text like that right after you wake up. He sent a quick message to get their attention and then pocketed his phone.

He almost immediately got a response. Taking his phone out again, he noticed it was from Tommy. Not really surprising, the scientist would send ‘good morning’ messages at 6AM sharp every morning. Just moments later, there was another response from Dr. Coomer. Bubby was apparently still asleep, but he promised to relay anything important back to his husband when he woke up. Welp… no backing out now. Where the hell to begin? Gordon leaned against the kitchen counter. He thought about outlining what he wanted to say, but he had his friends’ full attention now and he didn’t want to look like he was just fucking with them. So he decided to wing it.

**GF: Okay so**

**GF: We might have a little bit of a problem**

**GF: Benrey’s back**

A few agonizing seconds ticked by without a single word from the other two people in the chat. When Tommy started typing, Gordon thought he was going to explode.

**TC: Yeah, about that…**

**TC: I might have something to do with that.**

Gordon nearly dropped his phone.

It wasn’t really that shocking ⏤ during the final fight, Benrey  _ did _ seem very reluctant to hurt Tommy, so there was no doubt they were close friends ⏤ but… what did he  _ do _ ? Did he bargain with his dad or something? Another quick buzz from his phone brought Gordon back to the present.

**HC: wonderful, tommy!**

**GF: How??? Did you like ask your dad to bring him back or something?**

**TC: Yeah. It took a bit of convincing, but he eventually said he would let him out of**

**TC: Wherever he put him.**

Gordon pushed back his bangs, trying to process what he just read. Benrey looked over at him curiously, face covered in multicolored bandaids. The physicist couldn’t hold back his laughter. He doubled over, accidentally dropping his phone. At least he didn’t eat them.

When he finally found the strength to straighten up, he asked through giggles, “Did you use them all?”

“yeah little bit.” Gordon wheezed.

Picking up his phone, he grabbed the first aid kit, now lacking all bandaids, and returned it to its place in the bathroom. Instead of returning to the living room, he padded into his bedroom. He dug through his closet, eventually pulling out his old MIT sweatshirt and some sweatpants.

When he returned to the living room, he stood behind the couch and dropped the clothes into Benrey’s lap. The guard started, looking down in confusion. “wuzzis?” Gordon rolled his eyes.

“They’re clothes,” he answered curtly. Benrey only stared up at him blankly. “Y’know… cuz the ones you’re wearing are falling apart?” The alien glanced down at his torn shirt and pants with ripped-to-shreds knees. Gordon almost felt bad. How long had he been trapped in… wherever Mr. Coolatta put him? Best Buy, apparently.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, not wanting to travel down that path so early in the day. Turning back to Benrey, he said, “Bathroom’s over there, you can change in there.” But the guard just sat there staring at the clothes in his lap. Gordon waved a hand in front of his eyes to get his attention. “Earth to Benrey?”

“whuh?” He looked up with that same blank expression. Gordon sighed. Did he really think anything would change?

“Bathroom.” he repeated, pointing in the direction of the room. “Change in there.”

“oh. kay.” He got up, balled-up clothes under one arm, and walked to the bathroom, turning back before closing the door to say with that twisted smile of his, “no peekin’, feetman.” Gordon resisted the urge to find a way to lock him in there. Although that probably wouldn’t work.

Now that he was alone again, his mind immediately switched to something that was on his mind earlier: the Sweet Voice colors he couldn’t identify. He pulled out his phone and found the picture he took and sent it to Tommy.

**GF: Hey Tommy can you translate this for me?**

**_GF sent a photo_ **

**TC: You might want to check on him.**

**TC: Ask him how he’s doing after being let out.**

**GF: Why? What does it mean?**

**TC: Red to jade means I’m afraid.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me on tumblr @ ethan-bethan


	3. yeah i've heard you sing, but it ain't too well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gordon tries to get benrey to talk about what happened and. well... you could say it doesn't go very well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've uh... had like two panic attacks before, but i'm afraid that i might've fucked up writing one. so if you have any criticism, i would love to hear it!

Huh. That’s… well, that’s an answer. The answer Gordon wanted? Well, he didn’t know what he wanted, but he’d say ‘no’. The answer nonetheless? If it was coming from Tommy, then definitely. Afraid, huh? What was Benrey afraid of?

A loud thud pulled Gordon from his thoughts. Tentatively, he padded over to the bathroom door and knocked on it gently. “Everything okay in there?”

“whuh? uh… yeah everything’s cool,” was the response. Gordon wasn’t sure if he believed it, but he didn’t want to try and open the door to check. He opted instead to just… wait. He remembered the coffee and hoped it wasn’t  _ too _ cold by now.

When he was in the middle of grabbing a mug, he heard another thud from the bathroom, nearly making him drop the cup. What was going  _ on _ in there? He chose to ignore it and the mental image of Benrey rummaging through his bathroom cabinet.

A two more thuds reached Gordon’s ears as he was pouring his coffee and he flinched again. “What the hell…” he muttered. He cautiously walked back over to the bathroom door, and knocked on it a little more forcefully this time. “Benrey, what the hell is going on in there?”

“bro don’t come in.” That… that wasn’t promising. God, he wanted so badly to open the door and see what all the noise was, but obviously he couldn’t. That’d be… all kinds of awkward and weird. So he had to continue to wait. Nervously taking a sip from his coffee every couple seconds.

He heard the bathroom door open and he nearly slammed his cup on the counter before rushing over to see what the hell happened. Gordon practically shoved Benrey out of the way and was faced with…

A clean bathroom.

“Huh?”

Benrey looked at him blankly. “what, were you expecting it to be trashed?”

“I mean…” Gordon forced himself to relax a little bit. “Yeah? Not gonna lie, I thought you were just… rooting through my stuff.”

The alien rolled his eyes dramatically. “woooooooooooow… you hidin’ something you don’t want me to see?”

Gordon immediately tensed again. “What?! No? I- well…” Maybe there were one or two personal things he’d rather not have anyone see… “NO! No, it’s just- GUH!” He dug his hands into his eyes, wishing he were anywhere else but here.

Benrey smirked and got uncomfortably close. “what’re you hiiiiiiiidin’?”

God, why was this happening  _ now _ ? Gordon didn’t have the energy to try and come up with some bullshit excuse, and if Benrey was going to live with him, he’d find something eventually. So he decided to be honest. At least partially. “Meds,” he said simply, pushing the alien away. “For like. Mental stuff. ADHD… PTSD, I guess. That kind of thing”

“o-oh.”

The air around them seemed to become suffocating within the span of just those few words. Neither of them moved for a bit, and Gordon just processed that Benrey had indeed changed his clothes. It was weird not seeing him wearing combat boots and a bulletproof vest, even if he kept the helmet. The sweatpants were rolled up a little bit (Gordon had expected that, if he was being honest), but the sleeves of the also-too-big sweatshirt were kept at their actual length, barely rolled up so he could use his hands. His old clothes were neatly folded under his arm, boots in hand, as if Gordon was going to let him keep them. Maybe the boots, but the shirt and pants were going in the trash.

The alien caught him staring and, instead of teasing him, somewhat-gently asked, “got… got something you wanna, uh… say?” Gordon blinked out of his trance.

“Yeah. We, um… we need to talk about where the fuck you’ve been.”

Benrey immediately tensed, fidgeting one-handed with the cuff of the sweatshirt sleeve. “wh- um… wh-what do you. mean?” The physicist sighed. He’d expected this kind of response. He gently took the clothes out of Benrey’s hands and went to set them on the kitchen island, gesturing silently for the guard to sit on the couch. “We take you out on Xen, a month passes, and then suddenly it’s like you were literally dropped on my fucking doorstep.” He turned to the couch, only to find Benrey had practically shoved himself into the corner of it. God, Gordon felt that. He joined the guard, sitting on the opposite side of the couch in an attempt to make him a little more comfortable.

“So. What the hell happened to you, man?” Benrey didn’t answer, he just kept fidgeting with his sleeves and looking around nervously.

“but… wh-wh- uh, what if i don’t, um… don’t  _ wanna _ talk about it, haha?” Gordon sighed again. He understood how hard it was to talk about stuff like this. He still hasn’t vented about Black Mesa to anyone outside of the science team, but even then it feels good to talk to someone.

“Look, I know it might be difficult, but I can tell you it’ll make you feel better to talk about it.” He scooted a little bit closer, but that only made Benrey shrink farther into the couch, which Gordon didn’t even think was possible. The alien became more and more frantic, eyes darting to every corner of the apartment and breathing becoming more and more rapid. The physicist reached out a hand⏤

Then suddenly, the most high-pitched noise Gordon had ever heard filled the room. His hands instinctively flew up to cover his ears and he screwed his eyes shut. A pit of dread grew in his stomach out of nowhere. He pried his eyes open and saw something that only made the pit grow larger.

Benrey was still there, but he was curled into a ball, fingertips ending in sharp claws digging into his helmet. Gordon couldn’t see his eyes and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. What little he could see of his mouth was dripping an odd ink-looking substance. Then, he saw more floating in the air, and he registered that it was the Sweet Voice. Whatever it meant… it wasn’t good.

Gordon wisely decided to back off, getting up from the couch and ran to his bedroom, pulling his weighted blanket off the bed. Upon returning to the couch, he placed it as gently as he could around Benrey’s shoulders. The moment he did, the noise stopped, as if he had startled the alien out of the panic attack. Ah, so  _ that’s  _ what black means.

God, this was gonna be a long-ass day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pure jet black = i'm having a panic attack <:)  
> also all the thudding in the bathroom was benrey just fuckin dropping his heavy gear onto the floor lmao. first was the helmet, second was the vest, and the third and fourth were the boots :)


	4. and each breath you take is a brand new begin. each breath you take, brand new beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> patching things up and making breakfast :)

The rest of the day went by mostly in awkward silence. Occasionally, a quiet word or two was exchanged and the most they talked was when they had to discuss what they were going to eat for dinner. Benrey stayed under the blanket the whole time, which Gordon both could and could not understand ⏤ on one hand, the weight was very calming. On the other, it was 15 pounds.

Eventually, Gordon couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get _some_ kind of information. He didn’t want two incidents in one day, so he decided to take a different approach. Benrey was curled up on the couch asleep, but as soon as the physicist sat down, he shot awake, looking around for the source of the disturbance. When his eyes landed on Gordon, he relaxed… barely.

“I, uh….” All of a sudden, he didn’t want to speak. He didn’t want to end up saying the wrong thing and causing another panic attack. But he had Benrey’s attention now. “If you ever want to talk about… where you went… I’m, uh. I’m here to listen.”

The alien stared at him for a couple seconds before turning away and staring off into space with a hum. Gordon waited expectantly in silence, giving up when Benrey simply yawned and curled back up under the blanket. Honestly, he was a little disappointed. But he should’ve expected that kind of response in hindsight. He sighed, saying, “Good night, Benrey,” as he got up and headed for his own bed.

He nearly tripped over his own two feet when he heard an all-too-familiar singing behind him. A quick glance and he saw just a few orbs; red to blue. Cool. Another combo to send to Tommy. In the morning, when he _didn’t_ feel mentally exhausted. He got into bed, eyes sliding shut as soon as his head hit the pillow.

* * *

“...up bro.” Gordon faintly felt something hit him in the forehead. “bro, i’m hungy.” Another hit to the forehead. He groaned and cracked his eye open just a bit, only to be met with two yellow eyes staring directly back. He panicked, letting out a yell and launching himself back straight into his headboard. He hit his head, hard. “oh shit, you good?”

Gordon fumbled for his glasses, head pounding. When he managed to shove them onto his face, he saw Benrey sitting at the end of his bed staring at him like a cat. He also noticed the lack of light in the room. “Benrey.”

“yeah?”

“What fucking time is it?”

“uhhhh i dunno, i just woke up and i was hungry and i dunno how to cook so i decided to wake you up too.”

“Cool. Great.” Gordon pulled the covers back over himself. “I’m going back to sleep, wake me up again when the sun is out.” He felt another thing hit his face.

“nah dude, i’m huuuungyyyyyy…”

“What the fuck are you throwing at me?”

“froot loops.”

“Wh- just… eat that?”

“nah, i don’t wanna.” The alien threw another loop, hitting Gordon square between the eyes.

“Fuck, okay stop throwing cereal at me, I’m getting up.” He got out of bed, realizing he’ll have to clean up the froot loops later.

“What do you want?” he asked, putting his hair in a ponytail. Benrey hoisted himself onto the counter. “Dude, get your ass off my counter.”

The alien seemed to think about that for half a second before responding, “nah.” Okay, this day was off to a _wonderful_ start.

“Whatever, just… you’re not eating up there,” Gordon half-mumbled as he opened a cabinet and grabbed a bowl. He saw Benrey cross his arms and pout at the edge of his vision. He ignored it, crossing over to the fridge and grabbing the eggs and milk. The alien, forgetting his fake annoyance, leaned over towards the physicist at the prospect of food.

“yo whatcha makin’?”

“Scrambled eggs?”

“dope.” He leaned closer, placing his head on Gordon’s shoulder as the latter cracked the eggs into the bowl. He tried to shrug him off, but it didn’t work. The physicist found himself getting more and more exasperated by the minute.

Gordon was setting a pan on the stove and lighting it when he heard Benrey say, “yo can i drink this?” He whirled around to find the alien holding the bowl in his hands and staring at it hungrily.

“NO!” He snatched the bowl away. “It takes like 2 minutes to cook, just wait!”

Benrey whined, upset that Gordon wouldn’t let him get salmonella. “dude cmooooooooooon… just a lil lick? lil slurp? bit’a egg? spare egg for benny?”

“No, you are _going_ to get food poisoning and I am _not_ dealing with that.” The alien whined again, higher-pitched this time, as the physicist poured the eggs into the pan. “Stop.”

“duuuude pleeeeease?” Jesus Christ.

“Th-they’re in the pan, man, just wait a minute. Please?”

“ffffffffffine.”

“Thank you.”

Gordon cooked in silence and Benrey watched in silence. About 5 times in the 2 minutes it took to cook the eggs, the former had to slap the latter’s grubby little hands away from the hot pan. When their food was finished and Gordon scooped some on a plate, Benrey snatched it away (without a fork) and ran to the couch, laughing maniacally. The physicist sighed, unable to hold back a little smile. He felt a buzz in his pocket and pulled out his phone, noticing the daily “good morning” text from Tommy. Benrey had woken him up before 6AM and he wasn’t sure whether to be thankful or upset. He sent a quick “good morning” back and went to pocket his phone again when he felt another buzz. Tommy had sent him a text privately.

**TC:** Would it be alright if I came over today?

It was a valid request; the science team hadn’t met up very much since their escape, and with Benrey back, it made sense that Tommy would want to see him.

**GF:** Yeah sure. I think benrey would wanna see you

**TC:** Great! I’ll be there in about an hour if that’s alright with you?

**GF:** Yeah that’s fine. Can’t wait to see you man

**TC:** Me too!

…

When was the last time Gordon had showered?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look if you make scrambled eggs without milk, i don't understand you >:|  
> also red to blue means "thank you" :D


	5. I'm Sorry <:]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a note about the progress of this fic

so um. i'm done with this fic. i'm not writing it anymore. go home.

okay maybe that was a bit too mean/straightforward lmao. basically i uh. kinda lost my hyperfixation on hlvrai. and even before that i had lost interest in this fic. it just became tedious and tiring to write. it wasn't fun anymore. that and school starting just led to me not at all wanting to continue this.

i've found that i'm not really uh. good at writing multichapter fics. i always get bored of them before i reach 8 chapters. i'm much better at writing one-shots or fics with just a couple chapters. either way, multichaps are ass to write for me and i might just give up on that shit. not writing altogether, i still have about 5 wips that i want to finish and post, but just. multichaps. they ass.

as for hlvrai... 3 of those wips are hlvrai one-shots. even though i've started to fall out of it, i do plan on finishing those wips and posting them, so look out for that. i hope to finish one of them tonight and post it tomorrow :]

i'm developing an interest in half life, which is what the other two wips are for lmao, so that's probably what i'll be posting for a bit. i don't think it's a hyperfixation, per se, but it's definitely a big interest i love barney calhoun very much :]

anyway i kinda lost what i was saying, but basically this fic is uhh pretty much dead. no more updates bc it's not fun anymore :/ but i've still got some hlvrai one-shots in the works that i will be posting and after that some fun half life good shit :]

anyway uhh it was fun while it lasted! thank you for all your kind words and encouragement, they really did mean a lot. thanks for sticking around during this, i love you all, stay safe :]

-freeman :]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> free-ethan.tumblr.com <\- yell at me :]

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is "free-freeman" so you can yell at me there if you want
> 
> also here is where the best buy thing came from: https://free-freeman.tumblr.com/post/623360541952458752/what-if-hear-me-out-what-if-instead-of-being-in , which itself is a reference to the scorpy stream where he escaped from best buy (https://www.twitch.tv/videos/674152053)
> 
> also my friend wanted me to put somewhere in this fic "naked and ready for lickin'" and i am not writing that so we compromised and i'm putting it here as a footnote :)


End file.
